Talent Allie

Between The Sheets

By Allie | 2007

Q: The other night during sex, as my husband was achieving his orgasm, he cried out a name, only it wasn’t mine. When we were done, I asked him who that was, and he says that he does not know where that name came from. Should I be worried?

A: Kudos for sticking it out until sex was over before you asked him. I would have probably put the deep freeze on immediately. But then again, I have a strict rule about names during sex – I never use them, no matter who I’m with, as there are times, just as this, when the wrong name could slip. I think it’s a rule everyone should employ.

Did the name sound like a movie star or singer that your husband likes? He could have been fantasying about her during sex. Now don’t get your panties in a bunch because I mentioned he could be fantasying about another woman during sex. Fantasy is healthy as long as it is not employed every time during sex. And since I encourage women to fantasize when they are not in the mood – why shouldn’t men?

Now if this isn’t someone famous, could she be someone at work he knows? If so, then I would be slightly worried as the odds go up a bit about him being able to sleep with her. Normal people are obviously much more accessible than famous people. Turn the real worry on only if he exhibits signs that he is really “in to” someone else:

-Personality Change

They no longer seem to care about the day-to-day happenings. No longer do they seem caring and supportive. More coldness than warmth comes from them. They start to distance themselves from you and/or the family.

-Sex

Either ramps up or cools down. Could be trying new techniques that seem out of character: for example – has been a gentle lover, now is rough and using derogatory terms.

-Argumentative

Everything is now full of drama. Is now constantly finding things and blaming you for them.

-Lying

Wouldn’t know the truth if it stood up and bit them. Stories keep changing. They have more excuses than explanations.

-Work

They spend more time at work, but their pay check doesn’t reflect that extra time.

-Stays Out Late

Doesn’t give you a correct coming home time. Comes home later and later.

-Phone Dumbness

Doesn’t call you to say that they will be late. Excuses for not calling.

-Clothing/Appearance

A definite switch in the amount or kind of cologne/perfume. Clothes are better taken care of and/or new.

-Exercising/Health

All of a sudden they are exercising more and concerned about their health.

-Unexplained Expenditures

Credit cards showing purchases that you know was not spent on you or the family.

-Phone Calls

They come and go often. When the phone rings, they answer it and then “go for a walk”. Un-recognizable numbers on cell bill at various and unusual times.

-Computer

They are on it all the time – not business related. Many windows or programs are open at the same time and they switch what appears on the screen when you enter the room. They now use a yahoo, gmail or hotmail email account.

-Shifts Blame

Tells you that you do not know what you are talking about. Tells you that you’re crazy and it’s all in your head. May begin questioning your whereabouts to take the focus off of them.

If he shows signs of the above – it’s time to either call a lawyer or confront him (although don’t expect the guy to tell the truth).

If he doesn’t show the signs, then just chalk up the name mishap as a mistake and leave it at that. I’m sure he won’t be doing it again!