Talent Ambianced1

Sometimes the knight in shining armor is just a good man wrapped in tin foil

By Ambianced1 | 2008

I don't know about you, but I think the fairy tales of my youth did a number on my head.

The Prince Charmings' of every story were wonderful; searching at all cost for their beauties but in particular the knights held my greatest interest. King Arthur and Sir Lancelot were ideal and the knights were men of courage, honor, dignity, courtesy, and nobleness. They protected ladies and damsels, honored and fought for kings, and undertook dangerous quests.
They stood tall and brave; wielding their swords on a gallant steed entrenched with armor that was impenetrable. But when they reached their maidens and removed the breast plates and helmets, they were tender yet still were impenetrable because they were as strong without their armor as they were with it.

The unrealistic expectations and traits it instilled about prince's and particularly knights in shining armor set a standard that I seemed to believe was a criteria that was attainable. So I set on my personal quest to find my knight in shining armor or at least a prince who would forsake his kingdom just to be in my presence.
I look back now some many years later and find it odd how many frogs you can kiss without ever finding a prince, Or how many difficulties you can fall into without one blasted knight showing up to save you at the last minute. I came to the stunning realization in short order that the ideals of the fairy tales were not ready made...so I embarked anew setting out to find a frog that I could work with and maybe, just maybe, turn him into a knight.
So I set out and was taken aback to find that frogs are plentiful and choosing one, proved not to be too difficult as I felt I was a damsel in distress in my home at the ripe old age of 17 and I chose the first potential knight hiding in frog skin that would rescue me from the castle of my parents.
So I married him; and upon doing so quickly realized that changing a frog into a prince or a knight is impossible. Even in the rare moments that he resembled a knight, alas he was still a frog inside and it became more and more apparent with each passing year that the warts were winning and the idea of a knight died. So after 15 years, I left. I left with 2 wonderful daughters, a loveseat and chair, a refrigerator, a console television, and the girls beds. We hopped into my chariot and found a place for us to call camelot, knightless. But the toll of the years spent were costly and the time it would take to rebuild my self worth would be considerable.
But we thrived and the girls and I grew. We had made a life together and I was more than happy to live like that forever without a frog in sight. But as unlikely as it seemed, things were about to change forever.
It was August 7, 1998 and I saw him. Well, I actually didn't see him in his entirety, I only saw his eyes and I was mesmerized. So I walked up to him nervously, awkwardly and said, "My name is Ora, this is my number and you can call me if you would like." Soon after, I left and I cried all the way home. I had no idea what he looked like, who he was really, but I knew that he was going to be my husband and I was afraid. Mostly afraid that he wouldn't call but but deep down I knew he was the only one for me. And as it should be, he called the next day. We immediately began dating , soon after engaged, and eventually married and I could not have been happier.
I had not considered prince's and knights since the first year of my first marriage yet strangely in Steve I saw all the qualities of my knight. He was and is tall, handsome, honorable, brave, strong, and noble. He represented all these traits in a humbleness that was simply undeniable and at times it seemed to others that he was too good to be true…but he wasn't. He was and is as true as true can be and in the months and years that followed he proved it everyday.
We were the perfect match, two peas in a pod, the yen and the yang. We shared many of the same characteristics, in humor, sarcasm, love, values, and stood as a united front and we were very happy together.
Our Camelot soon however began to be penetrated by the world outside and in my weakened state he stood tall and wielded his sword to protect me and whisked me away to far away lands to protect me from all that would seek to cause me pain. He was amazing and our life together although entrenched with outside difficulties, remained strong and full of love and happiness with each other. All was right in our world together until May 9, 2007.
On a day that was filled with wonderful things, sunshine, getting off early, dinner for two in tow the unimaginable happened and life as we knew it came to an abrupt halt. I had been in a horrific accident on my way home. Upon landing after the accident my first instinct was to call Steve. I searched frantically for my phone that was intermingled in the barrage of glass, loose items, and dinner. And I made the most difficult call in my life.
Thirty minutes before, I had just spoken to him and told him of my good fortune of getting off early and my plans for dinner so when his cell phone rang at 4:38 he answered in his normal cheerful way and I said, what must have been the most horrific thing a person could hear. "Sweetie I have been in a terrible accident and I think I have killed a man. I don't know where I am, and I'm so sorry." He then told me it will be alright and he was going to have the Louisa police find me and he would be right there.
Due to the accident it proved impossible for him to come where I was. The ambulances, fire trucks, helicopter, and state troopers littered the scene. Traffic was backed up for miles and he stood waiting for me at the hospital.
Upon arriving, he came to me, held my hand, held my forehead and encompassed me with love and assurance. He stayed with me and would briefly step out when doctors urged him to do so and then he would be back by my side. It was not until later did I find that his presence there was not only one of love and support, but it was of protection. It was later that I found he filtered every person that came to me. My sister Linda, the doctors, the state troopers were all directed by him not to tell me that the man at the accident had died. He did not want me to know that while lying in the hospital. He wanted to protect me from that knowledge as long as humanly possible. Even then he stood brave and gallant; protecting.
After being released, he brought me home and he and Linda sat with me in our living room and Linda told me what I already knew. The man had died and with that affirmation, the shock set in.
In the days and weeks that followed, Steve protected me from investigators, callers, visitors were filtered, and he insured companions for me so I would not be left alone. He hovered over me watching me sleep, held me when I would cry, and stood strong in the reality of what had happened; but the toll of what happened began to eat away at him.
I watched him become sad and I began to realize in my heart what I already knew in my head…He was feeling as if he failed me somehow.
In all of our time together, he had protected me and rescued me each and every time; but now, he didn't know how to fix what had happened. Yet how could he? No one can stop life from happening to another. No one can be all places at all times holding an umbrella over you to keep you dry, or placing their coats over every puddle so not to get your feet muddied, and no one can stop accidents from occurring. Not even him. But I watched as he became more saddened as the days passed. I watched him wince while he stood by me for two surgeries, I watch him look helpless as my arm fails to heal. I walk with him totally over protected and see his eyes scanning two steps before me to ensure I don't get hurt. Yet I see how helpless he feels when I am depressed, sad, hurting, and unable to do the things I use to do and I find myself trying to don the armor and protect him from what is happening to me. I try to put on his bravery helmet, his breast plate, and I try to hold his sword so I can protect him from all that would hurt him and I fail because I am no knight.
Yet in all that we have endured, I have realized a great truth. It is not only little girls who have unrealistic expectations of prince's, knights, and protectors. Little boys are also infused with the unattainable expectation that they must protect their maidens from all harm. In remembering all the fairy tales of my childhood, I try to hear them again with the mind of a little boy and oh what a subconscious burden it places on them. How could anyone instill such an expectation on a child only for that child to grow into a man who is only a man? No one can protect the damsel at all times. No one could expect to be ever present and all knowing. But yet, I see it in my Steve whether he knows it or not. I see him striving to protect me and all those that he loves from every danger, wrong decision, and worry. Then when something gets by him and hurts one of us, he is distraught as if he should have been able to prevent it somehow and in those moments, I feel the saddest for him. The unrealistic expectations of himself.
So where does that leave us at the end of the day…It leaves me humbled and grateful. It leaves me in awe of such a man who would seek to be the unattainable and hit the imaginary mark so many times. It leaves me impressed and utterly amazed every day I am in his presence. And know each and every time he holds me close, I feel the krinkle of tin foil that incases the heart of a good man and I smile.
And what about living happily every after then if all the fairy tales are unattainable for the natural order of life? I don't know. I guess in my heart I still long for the happily ever after line still...but in actuality I believe I will be more than happy to settle for the unshakable joy of being his wife and the happily ever after will have to prove itself to be true.
In the meantime…I am more than satisfied with my good man wrapped in tin foil...he has far more going for him than a trusty steed, a shiny armor, or a sword of steel. He embodies the true gift of heart and in his weakest moments he remains the strongest and best man I have ever had the privilege to know.